Sunday, October 23, 2005

They don't make death rays like they used to

In San Francisco Saturday, a group of researchers from MIT and the University of Arizona tried to use a contraption made of mirrors and bronze as a white-hot killing machine of legend on an unknowing and presumably innocent fishing boat.

It didn't work, or at least all that well. The Associate Press reported the ship "smoldered" at 150 feet away and only a small fire was caused by the concentrated refelcted sunlight at 75 feet. That flame, however, quickly burned itself out.

The Discovery Channel show "MythBusters" sponsored the event, which was an attempt to recreate the death ray Archimedes used to annhilate an invading Roman fleet in "Epitome con Istorion." The show had concluded it was a myth after not being able to make their own death ray last year.

The guy from "MythBusters" pronounced the experiment as seemingly reaffirming their previous ancient death ray mythbusting, though his comments might be influenced more by the narrow mindset of someone who busts myths on a regular basis for fun and profit.

The MIT researcher, however, was not completely convinced the tale of Archimedes cooking Romans like a six-year-old uses a magnifying glass to incinerate ants on a sidewalk was entirely bunk.

"Who can say whether Archimedes did it or not?" MIT professor David Wallace told AP. "He's one of the great mathematical minds in history. I wouldn't want to underestimate his intelligence or ability."

While I'm not saying that ancient Greek legends and myths are completely full of crap, there's probably a little bit of exaggeration to the tale Archimedes incinerating Romans, to say the least.

But as a concept, a device that reflects the suns rays into fiery death doesn't sound completely out of the question either, does it?

In a dark somwhere deep below the Pentagon, a shadowy figure takes a drag off a big cigar as he reads about the fools in Frisco who haven't figured out the right combination of bronze and glass to recreate Archimedes' death ray.

He strokes his own solar powered death ray sitting beside his fine mahogany desk and fires a dark, raspy laugh into the darkness.